Why Is Sex Such A Hangup For Almost Everybody?

by Don on September 4th, 2007
in Sex

A good sex life is, in my opinion, an important part of wellness. Certain things about sexuality seem rather obvious to me and emminently sensible, yet I've no doubt that there are legions of folks who would (and will) take exception to one or more of the assertions I'm about to put forth as principles of healthy sexuality. However, since nobody wants to read a dull blog, I'm going to delve right on into the pit of perdition by stating a few of my ideas about sex, wellness style.

OK, there is no such thing as sex, wellness style. By sex wellness style, I mean attitudes, beliefs or principles that a sensible person pursuing a wellness lifestyle might embrace that are consistent with REAL wellness, as I have described it, which includes a strong sense of personal responsibility and adherance to all of the common decencies.

Actually, describing in a public way what one believes about sex is in itself highly controversial, for many, as sex is usually seen as extremely personal, private and off limits. But, should it be? I think not.

So, here are a few off-the-top perspectives about sex, wellness style:

  • If you don't want to be private about your sexuality, don't be secretive about it. At least not when you are around people whom you know can deal with frank talk about the subject, such as who you are having sex with, what kind of sex you enjoy, how many others you like to include in different kinds of sexual activity and what kinds of equipment you find helpful in embellishing and otherwise keeping things interesting.
  • If you are deeply religious, a devout believer in a major faith tradition, it's almost certain that you have strong opinions about what other people should or should not believe regarding sexual matters. Try to focus your energies on doing or not doing what your religion approves or condemns, but refrain from any attempts to restrict the freedom of others to do as they like. Resist the temptation to make judgments about the sexual ideas and practices of others. This posture will avoid lots of stress.
  • Evaluate your sexual desires on conscious criteria, such as whether said desires can be satisfied in legal ways that do not risk ruin of your career and/or reputation or otherwise cause harm to persons likely to be embarassed by your behaviors (e.g., your spouse and other family members--or the Republicans who elected you to the Senate back in Idaho).

Wellness sexuality should be guilt-free and responsible, consistent or at least not so flagrantly in contempt of community norms (if you live in Iran and want to be sexually liberated, move!), considerate of others, honest and based on kindness and affection. It should also be a lot of fun.

What do YOU think are some guides for wellness sexuality?

About this blog

by Don on April 27th, 2007
in General Wellness

Besides "General Wellness," the three categories I selected for my blog are politics, sex and religion. I chose these three areas for several reasons, including the following:

  1. None of the three topics gets enough attention in the wellness field, in my opinion. In fact, all three are avoided like the plague. (No, I am not going to add the plague to the blog topics. Not enough happening these days in that area to justify it, thank goodness.)
  2. These are topics that nearly everyone cares about.
  3. Wellness is hugely affected by all three areas.
  4. I personally enjoy talking and writing about the three areas because all three areas are usually the source of so much human grief.
  5. No less an astute observer of human conduct than Anthony Trollope regarded politics, sex and religion as the stuff of high comedy, and I feel the same way.
  6. In a sensible, rational world where people were truly free, sex would be delightful and always an unbounded pleasure, politics would be a vehicle for expanding human freedoms and religion would not, as Christopher Hitchens suggests in his book God Is Not Great, poison everything.

Now you know why I chose these areas as the categories for my blog. What do you think about the linkage of wellness with these three areas of human interest?

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